Monday, March 08, 2004

reversing prisms

The air is perfect now, if there is such a thing, the sky scattered with streaks of thin clouds that do little more than soften the periwinkle sky. Around me, everything is in motion, heading for its stasis I suppose, even the sun has started moving back to due east where I expect it to rise. It is all pure white today, the effect of the thin cloud at the horizon doing a reverse prism thing, putting the light all back together for a change instead of breaking it down to its various wavelengths and coloring the morning. Today, it is a matter of bold directness, and the shadows that creates.

It makes me introspective, and objective. Makes me look at myself to see who I am, and what I have become. I have been trying to wear the hats that I like the best, choosing the rose or the blue from the spectrum instead of treating the whole person. I've justified it by the needs of those around me, to the exclusion of my own needs. I think it is time to put myself back together. It is time to recognize the white light as what it is, the sum of all the colors.

This experiment in sensitivity has not served me well. I feel that instead of becoming more the person I wanted to be, I became invisible,

No one wants to be invisible. No one wants to hover in the background.

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