vacation

It amazes me really, to wake in paradise yet another day, and find the words still hiding. Everywhere I look, from a double rainbow over the mountain to the indescribable blue of the sea, my eyes water with a sweet orgasmic ache, manifestation of the need to see it all. I am beginning to believe the only place I can really write at all is tucked away in a closet or an attic with no windows, where the words are the only sensation of pleasure there is. Perhaps this is why "happy" people don't do much writing. I keep telling myself that I am filling the well with beauty, but I still feel like such a fraud.

Yet even in paradise the small motors hum and manicure of the grounds, the garbage truck grinds the same loud growl of garbage trucks everywhere. Tennis balls plunk against the sweet spot of the rackets on the courts outside the lanai, and the expletives of the players are universal as well. I am still charmed by wind in the palms, though here on the sixth floor they are at eye level and look more like prairie grass swaying in the wind.

And the only thing more seductive, more intense than the land, is the sea, my friends beneath the water: A sea turtle, diameter about 4 feet, as he gulped for air, then dove for food. He and I alone on the edge of the circle of swimmers, not unlike last years nurse shark. No one around to hear my exclamation of joy at his grace. The dolphin who broke surface a few feet away, flirting like a waiter looking for tips.

I would write more, but there are colors to absorb, neon blue racing stripes on black spines and cartoon colored fins waiting for me to come and play. There is sand waiting to smooth the citified calluses from my feet and the sun waiting with its paintbrush of bronzes to lighten my hair and darken my skin. There is coconut oil to smooth over the merging freckles of my arms, aloe to cool my overcooked shoulders and when all that is finished, there is sweet dark rum.

If I'm not exhausted after dark, I'll try to write again, but it has already been a week and I've not adapted to that yet. I can hear the waves kick up on the night wind and the lullaby is irresistible. It amazes me most, waking in paradise, that it is from real sleep that I awaken. It's been a long, long time.