reading the dictionary for fun

In the workshop I finished in March, there was a student whose work included a character he wanted to portray as "nerdy"… to do so he, the author, gave the character what he considered an odd habit; reading the dictionary.

I hate to admit this, but if that is characteristic, then I'm very guilty. I just opened the list like dictionary in Word to make sure I was using the word estuary (the wide lower course of a river where the tide flows in, causing fresh and salt water to mix) correctly. When I got through the fifth Latin definition down the alphabetical list beneath the word, I realized what I was doing. It was bad enough that I was reading them. Much worse that I had to retype them into a document. You can't copy and paste from the Word dictionary, at least my version on my computer.

I hate to confess that if that is the definition of nerdy, it fits.

I've not written a word of fiction since The Rejection. I expect another one on Tuesday/Wednesday, Then I leave for New York to hobnob 9to socialize in a familiar manner with somebody, especially somebody considered to be of a higher social class) with The Publishing Industry, including my own daughter. At that point, I will feel not only nerdy, but fraudulent as well. Except I do know a lot of "stuff."

I am most concerned with the designation of wannabe. Iff I do it, I want to do it on a grand enough scale to be taken seriously. Truth is I've done quite a bit of research on the Publishing Company, and know that it is something that can be done. One publisher I talked to told me that he was in the industry solely because he wanted to be… at least I have a concept I want to pursue. That publisher sent me to Book Expo last year for more information. If you don't know, I was well on my way, literally on the threshold of the Expo, when I was called to my mother's bed to witness the pulling of the plug. Everything went on hold then. It is time to get back into motion though; a year of stagnation is too much.

Ah but back to the dictionary. I went to Kemah the other day, in a veiled… or perhaps I should say shrouded… attempt … to entertain my in-laws. Kemah can be fun but has a sense of knock-off Disney about it. Tourists like it. I liked it when I was a tourist too. The good thing about company is seeing the city through their eyes, and remembering why you don't live where they are. My father in law, ever the daredevil, wanted to go up in the Tower… which was little more than a glassed in elevator with a view of the Bay. Mother in law didn't of course…. Afraid of heights… so she chose a bench to sit on while the rest of the family went up. A good Daughter in Law would have stayed with her on the Bench and talked about… I don't know; I've never been a good daughter-in-law.

The tour guide intoned through loudspeakers that we were on a bird migration superhighway, and that the area was an estuary. (See the connection? I know, lame, but it's late.)

Moving water: creeks, rivers, waterfalls, are a source of aquatic joy for me, so much so that I chose my college in part based on its view of the Ohio. Generally now, a river is not enough, not even the Mississippi. To find the aquatic release I need it takes waves, and lately even my freshwater Lake Michigan waves have seemed second rate.

Maybe I have combined, the tides rolling in with the decades, the fresh water and the salt. (We don't need to comment on wide bottoms btw) ...so much with the salt that I don't fit anywhere. I'm not comfortable anymore in Boardrooms because I just don't take it seriously now. Nor am I quite artsy enough to fit the vagabond writer's world. So perhaps this company is the blend I'm looking for. Perhaps.

If you play Texas Hold'em you know how frustrating it is for my opponents to continue to lose to me on the River. If they only knew about estuaries.