Monday, May 19, 2014

My take on Advice from Mom.


 Around mother's day, there is a lot of advice floating around.  I wanted to do my own list. Much handed down from my mother.  Some learned the hard way. All? take it or leave it!

1.     Regarding babies? If their tummy is full and their bottom dry, they are ok.
2.     Don’t go to anyone’s house as a guest empty handed.
3.     Say yes whenever you can. Mean it when you say no.
4.     Exercise. Just do it.
5.     Your spouse deserves your respect at all times.  You picked him/her.  Make sure what you say reflects your good choice.
6.     Violence is best left to tv, video games and literature.  Don’t let it poison you.
7.     Sit up straight. You will feel better.
8.     Drink a glass of water for every alcoholic one you consume, or just go with club soda.
9.     Always tell the people you love that you do.  Even if it sounds like routine.
10. No one will love you like your mother and father. You will love no one like your child.  Trust me on this.
11. When you feel like smacking someone you love the most, hug them hardest.
12. Make your bed everyday.   Even if you will be crawling back into it. Even if no one but you sees it. It shows your respect for yourself.
13. Keep journals.  It is a form of meditation. And great perspective.
14. Stretch.
15. Nap.
16. Try new things. You were born with a sense of adventure.  Enjoy it.
17. Family matters. Take care of each other. 
18. Animals learn from how they are treated.  Don't forget that people are animals.
19. Your time is only worth what you value it to be. Everyone has the same 24 hours.
20. Give back.  You’ve been lucky.  Not everyone has.

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Crazy Dog Lady

If I hadn't specifically checked, I'd assume it was the full moon, because the dogs can't settle down this morning. Or they couldn't, until I finally moved the computer back to the office and opened a file to write. It's as though they know I've made commitments to myself and they are frantic for me to follow through. Dogs.

I read Mary Oliver's Dog Songs last night. She writes like she's an old friend, and I loved the book. I suppose people who love dogs and have known them as best friends would also feel that way. One thing she talked about that made me a little sad was how dogs on leashes walking the sidewalk are not real dogs. That dogs need to run free. I confess that my dogs don't get that privilege. I'd like for them to, but they just don't have any common sense. I take them to the beach and they would run forever after the gulls and pelicans and my voice calling them back would be lost in the wind. They'd run so far I'd never catch up to them. I take them to the dog park, but they hover next to the little dog weight limit (twenty pounds) ... he is a little over, she is a little under, so they are not safe from admonition in either section. The big dogs would have them of course, but the little girl simply cowers in fear, and begs me to hold her. The big boy looks tine amidst the Great Danes and German Shepherds and Boxers. He tries to play, but the big dogs don't take him seriously.

It makes me long for the fields back in Iowa, where we used to take the dog of the moment and let him run. But that dog was Barney, the black lab, and he would not run so far that he couldn't hear me, and would always come back. Or the dog-friendly beaches of Michigan, but that was Millie, the golden retriever, and she'd jump into the cool water and swim until the humans had to go home. You could throw a ball from Michigan to Chicago, and Millie would bring it back to you. And it makes me remember sadly my Scout, the Border collie who never needed a leash, so long as you had a ball or a stick. She was not letting those "sheep" out of her sight.

But my dogs now, sweet little stuffed animals that they are, half golden retriever, with their common sense, and retrieving and swimming, and half poodle, also swimmers and retrievers, with a good dose of clever thrown in, exhibit very few of the traits of their parental breeds. I toss a ball for them and they look at me like I’m crazy. I take them to the beach, either the cool fresh water of Michigan or the sensuous salt of the gulf, and they love to look at the dead fish, and chase the birds, but they are very much not interested in going in. The little one hides behind my feet, the big one pulls away.
But they love to run around their fenced yard, love to walk on their leashes with me wherever I want to go (except please not that new park, they get cockle burs there!) And they don't shed, love brushing and they love my husband and me. They know our kids on sight and love them too, even though none of them live here. And strangers? They will do their tricks... one legacy from their poodle dad... and smile sweetly until anyone who meets them loves them back. I think that is their equivalent to off leash time, or maybe they are really not dogs, but stuffed animals come to life.

Anyway. Dog Songs, by Mary Oliver. Easy, quick little book of poems and sweet sketches.